1 March 2014... Welcome to the Sandbox (UAE)

Well, it’s about time I got around to writing this blog. I promised I would do it quite a while ago but there just doesn't seem to be much time for these things when the options are sleep or blog. (On a side note, why am I always so tired here?) This particular post will chronicle my arrival in Abu Dhabi.

I am employed as a cycle 2 (middle school) science teacher in Abu Dhabi. I will not mention details about my employer or my school as it’s generally frowned upon to do so. That’s the first point you should note if you are also a teacher for the same company, do not post negative comments about the company, your school, fellow colleagues or students on any form of social media. People have lost their jobs over this. Pretty much keep it positive or keep it to yourself. You also do not take pictures of the women or female students here unless you have their permission. If they do grant permission, the picture should not be posted on any form of social media (Facebook, Twitter, blogs, Instagram, etc.) but can be retained as a personal memento.

After a reasonably long wait (2 months), I was finally issued my visa and ‘golden’ ticket on 7 February 2014. [Insert sweet relief here.] This gave me the weekend to get my life in order and spend time with my loved ones. Now while the wait itself was near torture and put everyone under a lot of financial pressure, in the end I was somewhat grateful for it. That statement may sound ludicrous but the extra time allowed me to do the necessary shopping, get my documents in order, copy and scan whatever I needed to, pack, repack (and repack again) and weigh my bags a million times over. With all of this done, my last weekend was exactly what I wanted and needed it to be; quiet, stress free and spent with my family. It was much better than when I left to Korea.

I bid South Africa adios and headed to Abu Dhabi to start my latest adventure on the 10 February 2014. The goodbyes are always the worst. Leaving my grandparents was the hardest part for me but I couldn't be a hypocrite by crying after I had warned everyone else not to cry. So I sucked it up and walked through those gates. The flight to Johannesburg was pleasant and uneventful. My biggest mistake was travelling heavy. I had on several layers of clothing including a jacket, my 7 kg backpack, a 5 kg computer bag, my giant handbag plus a hoodie and snow coat in my hand. It made running around quite a mission and it was particularly difficult trying access my travel documents. My advice here would be to travel comfortably and light. Also it would be a very good idea to have some kid of document bag/wallet/envelope for your travel documents. It will keep them in better condition (mine looked like it had gone to WWII and returned) and will allow for quick easy access. REALLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION: the only copy of your visa you will need is the one you will use to enter Abu Dhabi because immigration will stamp this one. Don’t bother bringing extra copies of your visa, 2 should do (1 to use at immigration and a spare should you somehow lose that one on the journey). Carry a few colour copies of your passport, you will need those. Interestingly however, I have not needed any of the passport pictures that I brought along with me. I’m sure I'll need them at some point so err on the side of caution and bring the recommended 20.

The flight from Johannesburg to Abu Dhabi was not fun at all, I felt green the whole way. I didn't get much sleep and deeply regret eating on the plane. If you are at all prone to motion sickness, take medication for it before the flight and carry a fair amount of motion sickness pills with you (remember to have a doctor’s letter/prescription for any medication that you intend to bring into the country). The roundabouts here will have you wishing for motion sickness pills on the many bus rides you will probably take during your first week here. When I landed in Abu Dhabi on the 11 February 2014, there was a representative from Nirvana waiting with a sign that had the company’s name written on it. They will lead you the rest of the way. Remember that document bag/wallet/envelope because there are no trolleys for your carry-on luggage and you’ll need your documents while shuffling through the airport (why did I pack so much?). Our first stop was an eye scan. From there we were led straight through to immigration where we got to skip the line (thanks Nirvana). This was a very quick process where they will stamp your visa and passport. There may have been pictures taken somewhere along the line. I was too tired at that point to remember the exact details. From there you will be taken through customs… literally taken through, not to, so we didn't have to declare anything. After that you can finally collect a trolley for your carry-on luggage (your back and arms should be aching at this point). Now that you are unburdened, you can collect your checked luggage and add it to your trolley. Once you leave the luggage collection area, you can do your foreign exchange (about 1500 AED cash is a good amount) and get a sim card from Du mobile. It costs 155 AED and comes with 10 AED credit and a little data. Make sure you get your sim card at the airport, unless you prefer to go with Etisalat (which you can get from one of the many malls), because you will need a UAE number almost immediately. The only documents you need for a prepaid sim card are the stamped passport and visa.

From the airport, Nirvana will take you to your hotel. I stayed at the Ibis Abu Dhabi Gate hotel. Some people complained but for a 3 star hotel, I thought it was fantastic. The rooms were what you'd expect (bed, bathroom, TV, airconditioning and a bar fridge), buffet breakfast was provided (6:00 - 10:30 am) and there is a gym and pool (there is a small charge to use these facilities but it is well worth it). The downside to staying at the Ibis is that it is far away from everything and as such cabs cost a lot so share a cab where you can. If you are placed at that hotel, finding food will be an issue and eating hotel food does get expensive. The burger special at the lobby was a good deal at about 25 AED. I personally stocked up on cup noodles, cheese and bread at the Lulu’s at Mushrif Mall. If you are not a picky eater then you can save a lot of money that way. If you prefer a hot meal, there is an ADNOC garage down the road that has a Burger King (the prices however are shocking) and an ADNOC quick shop (it’s garage food so it won’t be that good). Unless you are lucky enough to be given accommodation with a kitchenette, food will be an issue and your biggest expense aside from cabs. Depending on how much money you have, budget about 30 AED/meal for convenience food or 100 AED/meal if you prefer eating at restaurants. Most of us just had a big breakfast, skipped lunch and ate whatever we could rustle up for dinner. IMPORTANT INFORMATION: when you check in at your hotel, they will retain your passport and visa (it will then be given to Nirvana) until you get your Emirates ID. This may take as long as 2 months so don’t make any plans to travel and also ask the front desk if they can scan and email copies of your stamped visa and passport to you then print a copy of these stamped documents and keep it with you. I would also suggest that you get a passport cover. Nirvana stapled my passport and that just annoyed me because now it looks tatty.

If you land on a Thursday, consider yourself lucky as you’ll have some time to unwind. If not then expect to be on the move from day 1. You will have to go for your medicals (again that document folder is great so carry it with you), fingerprinting and photographs, orientation and possibly training. Fair warning, take everything you know about logic and order and toss it out the window. Do the same for any frustrations that may arise from a general lack of logic and order. This is not the western world and nothing is ever done in the way you’d expect it to be done. You should be used to this by now if you've also had to wait for your golden ticket. You will hear ‘Inshallah’ often. Remember you chose to be here so adopt the attitude of the locals. Things will eventually get done, just not as quickly as you’d like it to. Stressing out about it will do nothing to make it happen any faster. Patience really is a virtue. 

After your medicals and fingerprints, you will be given back your stamped visa, passport and a stamped receipt. Nirvana will collect your passport and visa from you but you keep the stamped receipt. Treat it like gold. It is the only acceptable form of ID you will have for many weeks. I suggest you make a copy to keep on you and keep the original some place safe. At orientation you will be given your contract (its actually pretty standard) which you will check for errors, initial on each page and sign. Make a copy for yourself and return the original. You will also be given your placement (Abu Dhabi, Al Ain or Al Gharbia). If your placement sheet says reserve on it, it means you’ve been assigned a region but not yet a school. Just keep an eye on your email or for a letter under your door. It’s not a bad thing if you’re a reserve, you will still get paid, it just means they are looking for a school that needs your skills. I was initially an Al Ain reserve but requested to be placed in Al Gharbia because I’m strange and prefer the quiet rural life. IMPORTANT INFORMATION: they will not change your region if you are in Al Gharbia and want to be placed in the city. My case was different because they have a lack of teachers in Al Gharbia so they were happy to place me there. A few people get upset when placed out west but it has its perks. For example you don’t have to pay a deposit on your apartment and depending on which town you end up in, there is a monthly stipend of between 1400 and 2000 AED. It’s a great opportunity to experience Abu Dhabi culture while saving some money. Don't worry, you will not be living in a tent or riding a camel to work if you end up in Al Gharbia. It's admittedly a little boring but it makes up for that in sheer beauty. They will also assist you in opening up a bank account with a debit card and credit card with the National Bank of Abu Dhabi (NBAD) and there will be representatives from Home Center (for furniture) and Hertz (car rental). These places usually have a discount for teachers (who work for the same company I do) but a discount does not always equate to a good deal. Be smart with your housing allowance and shop around.

I have not received my documents, Emirates ID, housing allowance or rented a car so I can’t really comment much on those matters. Instead let me share some of my thoughts.

1. Ladies, do not pack too much. You can get just about everything here. Carry your favourite beauty products (e.g. Clinique) as they are a bit more expensive here and sample sizes of toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, etc. until you can get to the shops to buy full size products. Toiletries are plentiful and about the same price as back home.
2. Carry clothing that covers all the way to the wrist and to the ankles for work. Some schools may allow clothing that only covers your knees and elbows but honestly it’s less of a bother to be fully covered. In fact, don’t carry much at all. You can buy abayas when you get here if your principal allows you to wear an abaya. They are loose, comfortable and cover everything. I prefer wearing them. As to whether you will have to cover your hair, that is up to your principal. I was asked to cover my hair and I really don’t mind. It takes nothing away from my rights or religion to show respect to the culture and religion of the country I have chosen to live and work in. I carried way too much clothing that I won't use here. Ankle length dresses also work quite well for work. Long sleeved cardigans and lots of scarves are a must (it’s cheap to buy them here). As for casual wear, as long as your elbows and knees are covered, you’re good. 
3.  The air-conditioning is intense. It may be the desert but it’s always cold inside buildings so carry a jersey or cardigan when you head out.
4. Carry a bathing suit. The pool/beach will call your name.

The process of setting up banking is a nightmare. To make it easy here's a step by step:

• Apply for your bank account at the orientation.
• After 7-10 days someone from the bank should contact you.
• Arrange delivery of your debit card.
• When you receive your card, activate it by following the instructions provided with the card.
• Once you receive the text stating that it has been activated, go to an NBAD ATM and set up a pin code.
• Visit a branch/email your bank contact and ask for your account details (account number, branch name, IBAN, etc.) if it has not been given to you by this point. You will need some of this information to set up internet banking.
• Phone the NBAD toll-free number (8002211) and speak to a consultant to obtain your call center number and to set up your call center pin. You will also need this to set up internet banking.
• Go to the NBAD website and register to set up internet banking.
• You will need an RSA token (which looks like a key ring) to log on to internet banking. It generates a random code every minute to keep your internet banking profile safe from hackers. Keep this token safe, it's important.
• You only get your credit card after you've had 2 salary deposits made into your account.

I hope that I have provided some helpful information for those heading over or considering heading over to Abu Dhabi. This blog is from my personal experience and nothing is consistent here so your experience may differ greatly from mine. Just remember to pack an open mind and a positive attitude. Lastly, let me tell you a bit about my actual experience. From the Ibis Abu Dhabi Gate hotel, myself and 7 other wonderful women were transported to the Danat Jebel Dhanna resort, a stunning 5 star resort in Al Gharbia located close to Ruwais. No one can ever say that this company does not take care of it's employees. I have an amazing suite, a king size bed all to myself, a delicious buffet breakfast every morning and I have my own balcony that overlooks the pool and ocean. I'm going to miss this place when I get my apartment. It's a little slice of heaven. I fully intend on joining their club once I leave so I will still have access to their amazing facilities. Again the downside is that it is far away from everything and food is not cheap. There is a mall in Ruwais for grocery shopping and shopping in general. Not many stores are open yet but it will get better with time. I've been buying a few groceries from Lulu's at Ruwais Mall on a weekly basis (bread, cheese, coldmeat, soda, etc.) and when I need a hot meal, the Golf Club is a short walk away, just past the Dhafra Beach hotel. They have very well priced meals which make it well worth the walk.

I have been placed at an all girls combined cycle 2 and 3 school in a town about an hour's drive away from my hotel. I only teach one grade and subject (grade 6 science) so there isn't much planning but the discipline issues make it a handful. I figure the girls are just testing me. Hopefully it will get better once they get know me and we have established some sense of routine. I really hope that I can help these girls excel in science during my time here. At the moment they are reluctant to learn in English. I can understand that, I really didn't enjoy learning Afrikaans when I was in school. Its only been a week. I'm sure the next two years will have many ups (and a few downs) both at work and in my personal life here in Abu Dhabi. I'm just trying to keep optimistic because waiting for me at the end of these two years is my love, my country boy, and everyday brings me closer to him. I might as well enjoy that journey because these will be the stories I tell my grandchildren some day.

1 February 2014... Valentine's Day thoughts.

So… Valentine’s Day. Yip, it’s around the corner. I have a boyfriend. I should be all ‘lovey dovey’ and excited right? Well no, I’m not. It just brings back memories of last year and of probably every Valentine’s Day I've endured. I’m either alone or if I’m dating someone, the day usually turns out disastrous. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a complete romantic but I just can’t get excited about Valentine’s Day anymore. I've only had one really great Valentine’s Day and that was many years ago, I think 10 years ago to be exact. Let me reminisce.

I was in college and dating the sweetest metal head. Valentine’s Day happened to fall on the first day of university that year and I decided to go old school romance. I had planned a picnic. He surprised me that day with a giant bouquet of yellow roses, a mixed CD with a heart cut into the case as well as heart and kiwi bird-shaped cookies that he baked himself. That still has to be the most thoughtful gift I've ever received from a guy. I got him a Metallica CD. My gift to him didn't even come close. We dined on my dry overcooked chicken, sipped on grape juice then we had Camembert and grapes for dessert and relaxed sprawled on a blanket under a tree in the science faculty gardens. That is a good memory. He was honestly way too good for me. I was young and couldn't really appreciate a love like his. We've lost contact understandably. I hope he forgives me one day for breaking his heart but he was never meant for me. He found the right girl in the end. He’s happily married now and I wish him all the happiness in life. I don’t have any residual feelings other than fondness but it’s nice to think back to happy memories once in a while.

I think I spent the next few years of my life paying for breaking his heart; karma and all that. Last year was particularly painful. I had been dating someone when I left South Africa and was in a long-distance relationship with him whilst I was in South Korea. I had just had surgery and was discharged from hospital a day or two prior to Valentine’s Day. I could barely sit up or do much of anything really but that Valentine’s Day I made arrangements with him to have dinner together over Skype. It would been an early dinner for him and a very late dinner for me due to the time difference. As sick as I was I prepared myself a nice dinner, lit some candles, put on my prettiest dress and did my hair and make-up so I would look nice for him and less like someone who had just had surgery. Anyway, he texted to say he’d be online shortly. I waited patiently. The time we were supposed to meet online came and went. I messaged, he never replied. I waited a long time and with each moment my heart broke a little more and more. Eventually I ate my dinner alone, took my medication and cried myself to sleep. I didn't hear from him for two months after. When I did, there was no explanation for why he stood me up on Valentine’s Day. I broke up with him by email not knowing if he was even alive because he had ignored my every attempt to contact him. I was very hurt but that’s the past now and I wish him well too. After that I picked up the pieces, hardened my heart and said never again.

Well, as you know that last part didn't work out because when I least expected it, when I thought I had ruled out love, it decided to sneak up on me in the form of my current boyfriend and the subject of one of my previous rants (http://rantingsofalostmind.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-am-28-years-old.html). We've been apart from each other for 5 months now, as long as we were together and against the odds, we are still going strong. I love him with all my heart and my sexy country boy loves me right back. (Insert massive grin here.) This will be our first Valentine’s Day as a couple but we are separated by a lot of distance. He’s in Alaska and I’ll either be in South Africa or Abu Dhabi. I wish I could plan something amazing and romantic to show him how much I care. I wish there would be a pretty dress, heels and perfume, a candle-lit dinner and dancing in his arms but that’s not going to happen. I know that so I’ll save that dream for a future Valentine’s Day when I know we’ll actually be in the same place at the same time again. As for this year, I guess it is just daddy’s birthday and my parents’ anniversary but nothing special for me. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn't add nor take away anything from the love I feel for an amazing guy and what he feels for me. I’ll just get myself some chocolate this year. There will be many more Valentine’s Days in my future to make up for all the ones of my past. So to whoever is reading this, may your Valentine’s Day be beautiful wherever you are and whatever your relationship status.

Much love.

26 August 2013… The horizon is near.

I am now down to just 10 days left in South Korea and with so much to say, I doubt it would fit in a Facebook status so I decided to blog it. This past weekend has been absolutely amazing. It started on Friday night with our ‘Party to the Power of Four’ which was an epic party to celebrate both Kelly and Bonnie’s upcoming birthdays and a farewell to myself and Jasmine (and Ch Eng, Sam, Mathilda, Matt and everyone else who is about to leave).

We started the night off at one of our favourite bars, Osan Lounge in Songtan. I have amazing memories there; good times with friends and that’s where I first met my boyfriend.  It was quiet at first as no one is ever punctual but after the people started to arrive, the good times started rolling. The turn-out was absolutely fantastic. I am so grateful for all those who made it and lent their awesome to the collective awesome to make it the most awesome night ever! Yes… it really was that awesome. My boyfriend taught Sayida and I how to play darts which involved Sayida flinging the darts at the board with such force that I was sure she was going to break someone’s face/the darts/the dart board or the wall itself. I went for a subtler ‘throw-it-gently-and-hope-for-the-best’ approach. My approach must have worked because I won that game. We both had fun either way. Mmm… speaking of throwing stuff, I also threw caution to the wind and enjoyed some Baby Frog/Strawberry Aid slush. Aaaah, the sugar and booze-laden delight. I also had the opportunity to meet new people, including some of my boyfriend’s friends. One of whom decided it would be a great idea to introduce me to my own boyfriend. It was hilarious because just as he was asking Barrey if he knew me, my boyfriend was putting his arms around me in a giant hug.  Good to know that people who don’t know we are together think we would be good together. After a few drinks, games of pool and darts, we then gathered the masses and headed over to another one of our favourite bars and the place where morals go to die, Jammers. On the way there I had a few shots of Taiwanese ‘something’ so details may get blurry after this point.

As soon as we got to Jammers, I was unfortunate enough to have a confrontation with someone I never want to see or talk to again. Thankfully after (very loud angry) words were exchanged, he left and my awesome night continued. In typical fashion, soju-kettles were found on every table and shots flowed freely (as did the tears as people got ready to call it a night and leave). We all partied the night away side by side; military, teachers and even parents. Jas amazed us with her crazy dance moves. There was beer pong, games of pool (my boyfriend beat me even though he tried very hard to lose) and plenty of dancing. We sang along to ‘Mmm Bop’ and danced to the Macarena. We took dodgy pictures that should never see the light of day but will still end up on someone’s Facebook. We are a really amazing group and I hope that the future foreigner community of the greater Pyeongtaek area will also enjoy that sense of family and friendship that I have experienced in this past year. By the end of the night (actually some time the next morning) with speech slurred, wallets near empty and good judgement far behind us, we stumbled to McDonalds for our customary after party feast. After we had glutted ourselves on MSG and fries galore, we all headed off in our own directions. Some stayed to party a little longer but the Anjung crew headed back home for the after party which involved country music, drinks, dancing, laughter and more good times in the park. I think I only stumbled into bed around 6 am on Saturday morning. I wish I could I say I got some decent sleep but alas, Saturday happened.

Ideally I would have gotten to sleep until noon but I ended up having to get out of bed several times to sort stuff out like the birthday cake and mattresses. Eventually I gave up any hope of going back to bed and decided to make a nice big breakfast; sausage, scrambled eggs, curried baked beans and toast with chai latte. Just as I sat down to eat, a whole bunch of friends landed at my door so I whipped up some extra food then we all chilled and played a few games of Apples to Apples. Its our new addiction compliments of my boyfriend. Kelly, you had better keep it going when I’m gone. We can have a reunion game in a few years. That thought makes me smile. I really hope we are still all a part of each other’s lives years from now. Anyway, after that we all went home to shower and get ready then we headed to Pyeongtaek where we met up at Ashley’s for all you can eat cheesecake (and some other food too but mainly the cheesecake).  After 2 hours of marathon eating, we rubbed our distended bellies and groaned in stuffed delight then headed back to Anjung. Miraculously, Sayida decided to stay and we convinced Priya to come to Anjung too. I am not too sure what everyone else got up to that night but I crawled my exhausted butt into bed and finally got that much needed sleep.

I awoke refreshed and invigorated on Sunday morning after that beautiful, mostly uninterrupted slumber. I made breakfast for the girls and then we got ready. Shortly thereafter, everyone was back at my apartment but this time to celebrate Kelly’s actual birthday with white chocolate raspberry swirl cheesecake and iced coffee (Thanks Lisa and Mai). Thereafter we all headed off to a jimjilbang (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jjimjilbang). When I first came to Korea and in the 11 months thereafter, I vehemently refused to enter a jimjilbang. Just the idea of being the brown, tattooed, overweight, naked girl being stared at freaked the hell out of me. I could feel the eyes on me just thinking about it. Alas, it was Kelly’s birthday and she really wanted to go. How could I say no to her on her birthday so I grudgingly agreed on condition that I could wear my bathing suit. As it turns out, bathing suits are not allowed. So there I was, having already paid my entrance and soggy from my shower with my only options being leave or get naked. I decided to be brave. It was a bit awkward at first. I’m not a person who will ever fully be comfortable with my nakedness. Perhaps it was my lack of glasses or the fact that there were 3 other naked brown tattooed girls but after I while I stopped being so damn self-conscious. The adjummas weren’t staring (any more than usual) and maybe it was all in my head after all. I even signed up for the works which for about $40 (above the entry fee) included a full body scrub, oil rub and hair wash. It was definitely worth every cent but I haven’t yet decided whether I feel violated and need therapy or whether I enjoyed it. This was all done by a semi-naked adjumma who vigorously scrubbed me from head to toe at least 4 times and in places that have never seen the light of day. This is painful… very painful but if you can endure it; you will feel silky smooth, soft and brand new. After that, she covered me in soothing hot towels and then proceeded to beat me up (not so soothing). At this point I was silently mouthing to my friends ‘HELP ME’ but it got better. After that was an utterly delightful oil rub (which also included being rubbed down in some kind of milk), having something slathered on my face and getting my hair washed and conditioned. I do feel lovely. My skin looks amazing and my hair is super soft but I doubt it is an experience that I would repeat anytime too soon. The nakedness is okay but that scrubbing was pretty painful.

After that I went back to my apartment to clean, see Priya and Sayida off and then we all headed to a galbi restaurant in Poseung for dinner. Dinner was absolutely delicious. I don’t know how my body handled all the good eating I’ve been doing this weekend. It will probably reflect on the scales but I’ll worry about that later. For now, I’d rather cherish good food and good times with my friends and love. I’d rather take the calories and the memories over a skinny body. Afterwards it was back to my place for more Apples to Apples (which has now become a drinking game) until everyone was exhausted and buggered off to get some sleep.

And with that came the conclusion of my amazing weekend. On a side note, my boyfriend came through for me. He’s not going to end our relationship when I leave. We have decided to try long distance. It won’t be easy but it’s a fighting chance so I’ll take it. He’s worth the effort. I am officially exhausted and ready to head home. I hope you have enjoyed reading all of this. Adios!

30 July 2013... Where the heart is.

I am 28 years old. I am neither young nor old. I have lived enough to know something of life yet I know there is so much more that awaits me. Today I find myself at a crossroad. I’m sitting in my apartment alone and contemplating all that has become of my life. Just over a year ago, I quit my job, sold my car, paid off my debts and got on a plane headed to South Korea. I have told that part of my story before. The first few months here, I honestly hated it but something changed. South Africa, even though it is my home, doesn't feel like home so much anymore. As the months passed, I stopped feeling like I was taking a vacation from my life and this… living here in South Korea, it became my life. The walls that surround me now have become my first home… not my parents’ home but the first home I made for myself alone as my own person. Here I learnt that I was strong enough to survive on my own but I also learnt that being alone is not healthy. I have made friends here who in this short time have rooted themselves very firmly in my heart. In living this life far away from all we know, we have bonded and transcended the mere title of friendship. These amazing women have become my family and I love them dearly. They were at my side for my worst and at my side for my best and I honestly would do anything for them. They know who they are. Hint: they are poutine-munching, chain-smoking, pool-playing, soju-shooting, shopaholic, dancing, cussing, crazy-beautiful women.  I am so grateful for every day I have had with them. In a few short weeks we will part ways but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I know that they will always be a part of my life... and I couldn't get rid of them even if I tried. Not that I’d try.

Korea has given me many gifts but the greatest gift that it has given me has to be love.  When I came here, I had a boyfriend. I thought it would be a quick year and that I’d be going back to him and that we would possibly build a life together but things changed. The relationship was not what I had hoped it would be and perhaps I was the only one in it. It certainly felt that way a lot especially as I sat in front of my computer waiting for a Skype call that never came. When it came time to let go of that relationship, I was ready. I had tried to save it and had failed. There was no regret. I know I gave it my all. It hurt so much to see it fall apart but I had tried. I hope he’s okay. He’s a good guy, just not the one for me. I guess we were right for each other at that point in our lives but not right to stay in each other’s lives.

After that, I had just about given up. I never expected to find love… especially not in South Korea of all places but somehow, it found me. It was the 30 March 2013, a few months after my breakup. I was at a friend’s birthday party. I had gotten up to go get my coat which I had left at the other end of the bar. As I was on my way to retrieve it, I felt a hand on my arm so I looked up. There was this big mountain of a guy, wearing a black shirt that fit perfectly, with a sweet yet sexy grin and amazing blue eyes. He opened his mouth and with all his country boy charm told me I was beautiful and asked me for my name. I’m the kind of girl that sits in the corner and doesn't make eye contact. I’m a people watcher, not the center of attention. For the most part, I’m rather invisible but he saw me. I remember giving him my name and saying thank you before blushing like a complete idiot and running for my life. I have never been accused of being smooth. I literally ran away. That is how my love story began.

After that, I went back to my friends and excitedly told them that a cute guy told me I was beautiful. They asked what I was doing there with them and chased me away to go and talk to him. So I went back to where I met him but I didn't have the fortitude to talk to him so I just stood there are talked to my friend about this mystery guy. Turns out she knew him and he knew her. She worked her cupid magic and sometime later that night he talked to me again. I had ingested some ‘liquid bravery’ by then so I didn't run away this time. We spent that night talking, playing beer pong, dancing and he even carried me in those big strong arms and kissed me. He took my number and when I got home that night, sure enough he had messaged me. Another rarity for the invisible girl, guys do not message me.

We talked and talked and a week later, we had our first date. It was unbelievably adorable. He took the wrong bus and got lost but eventually we found each other. It’s been a few months now that we've been together. I was reluctant to be in a relationship at first because I had been hurt so many times but when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was helpless. I was his. Everything about us, every moment we are together, it feels right. He and I seem to fit like we were made for each other. I’m not saying we are perfect, we've had some hurdles but we've gotten past them. We have never had any major misunderstandings and we have never even raised our voices to each other. There’s serenity in our relationship. I am most content snuggled up in his arms on the couch watching television without saying a word. I am completely comfortable in his presence. I have not felt invisible a day since I've met him, how can I when he looks at me like I’m the only girl in the world and tells me I’m beautiful. He makes me feel so special. Dear Lord, when he kisses me, I feel alive. He is a good man and I cherish him. Somewhere in the last few months, I went and fell in love with him. It was not a conscious decision. I only realised how much I loved him when I was given a reason to walk away and I couldn't. I needed him, I wanted him and I knew that I would fight for him and work at our relationship. But the clock is ticking and now I have just a matter of days left with him. I get on a plane back to South Africa soon and the decision about whether we stay together or part remains in his hands. I've made my decision. I will always choose him. I hope he chooses me. All I can do now is enjoy the time I have left in his arms and show him how much I love him.

The difference between my last relationship and this is that this time I’m willing to fight for it, over and over again if need be. I have found the man I want to spend my life with. He gives meaning to my existence, he completes me. When I look at him, I see everything I have ever wanted and needed. My heart yearns to be with him and to make him happy. Seeing his smile, his dimples, gives me a joy like I have never known before.  I have been happier in these last few months than I have ever been in my life. As you read this, please take a moment to pray that this love story ends in happily ever after.  I am at a crossroad in my life but I am not steering. I know the road I want to go down but only he can lead me there.

11 March 2013… Winter blues :’(

Happy belated new year for 2013. I hope this year has been treating everyone well. It certainly hasn't been very kind to me but we’ll get to that soon enough. It’s been quite a while since I've gotten around to writing this blog. I had every intention of doing this is December but then life became rather complicated and somehow I found myself putting it off.

Winter in South Korea has been a rather unpleasant experience. I’m pretty sure that everyone around me has felt thoroughly uncomfortable with the actual weather but then add to that the expense of winter clothing and the astronomical heating bills and you get a bunch of very grumpy waygook. Now most of my friends here are Canadian and somehow those guys are built for the cold, perhaps it’s all that maple syrup flowing through their veins, but for South Africans like me, anything below 16’C is too cold. Unluckily for my sissy South African hide, this last winter dropped as low as -20’C. Prior to moving to Korea, the coldest weather I had ever experienced was around 2’C which is still above freezing point and I had a warm fireplace to ease the chill then. Winter has certainly been a shock to my system. Furthermore was the realization that I was completely unprepared for the cold. My warmest coat in South Africa wouldn't even be an autumn coat here so I had to stock up on the essentials (coat, boots, scarves, gloves, beanies, earmuffs, thermal underwear, etc.). Once that was done, at least I wasn't at constant risk of catching hypothermia. I also eventually figured out how to use my heating in my apartment and bought a nice warm comforter. That just left one hurdle and a major hurdle at that… snow.

Now snow was at first a novelty. It’s beautiful to watch, it’s all sparkly and makes that delightful crunch when you walk on it BUT that novelty wore off very quickly once the snow turned into ice and slush. The winter boots that I had ordered from eBay weren't exactly cut out for Korean weather seeing as they were neither waterproof nor had any grip on the ice. I can’t even recall the amount of times I fell down but I vividly recall my painfully bruised hip (for some reason I always landed on the same hip every time I fell). Eventually as a result of sheer desperation I walked into a shoe store in my sodden boots with a very pathetic look on my face. No verbal communication was necessary. The store assistant could clearly see that I was in need of proper snow boots. She was really nice to me and even gave me a pair of dry socks to wear. Those bright purple ‘ugly as **** boots’ (now fondly known as my Barney boots) may just well have been the single smartest investment I've ever made. While they went a long way in keeping me warm, they did not however ease the fear of ice and snow that I had developed prior to the purchase of the boots.

I was so incredibly terrified of falling down and killing myself that I literally refused to leave my apartment unnecessarily. I went to work (usually in tears and holding onto anything I could find to stay upright along the way or walking on the road itself where there was less snow/ice), to the grocery shop (which is on the way home anyway), back to my apartment and that was about it. Now I am not completely crazy, there is a name for this condition; chionophobia. Whilst I didn't have any severe traumatic incidents related to snow and ice to develop this fear, I suspect it was because I had never been exposed to ice or snow like that before combined with a horror story I heard of a woman around my age needing hip replacement surgery after falling. I’m fairly accident prone so this was a legitimate fear. After an argument with a friend in which she pointed out my somewhat irrational behaviour, I decided to brave the elements. I eventually got somewhat comfortable walking on the snow and ice, even if I looked like a bandy penguin doing so, and I did have quite a few close calls. At least I ended up enjoying some of the winter and did actually leave my apartment for some social interaction. I’m just glad that spring is on the way. I doubt I’d ever want to endure another Korean winter.  I will NEVER take Durban’s beautiful weather for granted again.

For the record, I did throw a snowball and make a snow man just to say I've done it.

24 October 2012... Such a great lunch :)

Wow! I'm sitting here at my desk with a full tummy and an enormous grin on my face. I just had a rather exceptional lunch. I eat my lunch at the school cafeteria along with the students and the majority of the other staff. It has been a great introduction to Korean cuisine but it can also at times be quite daunting for me. You see, I don't eat seafood. I'm not allergic to it or anything. It's not a strict rule either. If the inclination strikes me then I will indulge in a piece of fish or some Mozambique-style prawns. However it is more a matter of personal taste. I just don't like seafood. Perhaps it comes from having studied marine biology or perhaps it stems from having had pet fish in my youth. Either way, I'm not fond of seafood. I've even boycotted certain family meals because seafood was served. Over the years my family has realised that this is something I will not easily budge on and now cater non-seafood alternatives just for me. Got to love them... and I don't think they mind too much, more prawns for them!

Hmm... I've strayed a bit from my initial point. Oh yes, today's lunch... What made today's lunch rather exceptional was not the food being served but rather the kind service. Wednesday tends to be treat day at the cafeteria and I look forward to seeing what will be put on my tray each week. So far treats have included delights such as fruit salad and chocolate cake (not at the same time though). Today however I was out of luck. They were serving seafood! This normally is not a train smash. In the event that they do serve seafood, I usually just eat the rice, kimchi and soup. Today though they not only served fish but  the rice itself was cooked with anchovies! You can imagine my horror as I'm about to take my first bite of rice and there, staring up at me with their sad dead little eyes, are a pile of anchovies! Lunch suddenly seemed rather bleak. It was just going to be soup, kimchi and some sweet potato for me.

Thankfully, Mr Jung, one of my co-teachers whom I absolutely adore, came to my rescue. He's been somewhat of a father figure to me here. He even called to make sure I was okay recently when I fell ill. I really appreciated the gesture considering that I am so far from home and without the comfort of family. Anyway, he left his meal, tracked down the wonderful lady who runs the cafeteria and explained to her that I don't eat fish. She was then nice enough to bring me a bowl of anchovy-free plain rice. I was beyond touched my the gesture from both of them. I hadn't known the reason that he had gotten up until she arrived with the rice. It was so thoughtful of him to consider my dietary preferences and it was so thoughtful of her to indulge me. She even brought me a bowl of this really yummy sweetish dried-seaweed-covered-in-sesame-seeds stuff that I love and when I was leaving, she also offered me some extra sweet potato. So thanks to the kindness of two very thoughtful Korean peers, my lunch went from being bleak to absolutely great. No one can ever fault the South Koreans when it comes to their hospitality and for that I am ever grateful. Its these small gestures that make life here a pleasure.

And finally, on completely an unrelated  but happy note, I would like to wish my bearded-lumberjack-loving friend (you know who you are) a very happy birthday and on an unrelated but sad note, to the family of my ex boyfriend, I know that tomorrow is the anniversary of your mother's passing. My thoughts and prayers are with your family at this sad time. Rest in peace Aunty Romilla.

10 October 2012... Rain rain go away!

Hello again.

Would you believe it? Its raining again! The last typhoon that I mentioned put the fear of God into me. On that treacherous walk back home, my umbrella was promptly ripped to shreds by the wind so I ran my by then drenched self to the nearest shop and bought the biggest umbrella I could find as well as a rain poncho. I definitely learnt my lesson. I keep everything in my backpack in plastic bags so should I ever get stuck in the rain again, at least my electronics will survive. I really hope that it doesn't happen again but I think I'm safe between the plastic bags, poncho and heavy duty umbrella. I am such a sissy when it comes to the weather. I'll be the first to admit that. I guess living in Durban has completely spoiled me. I'm way too used to sunshine and warm days. Although the irony is that since I left the weather in Durban has been a little crazy!

It's only October so early Autumn here and a lot of the foreigners are already feeling the cold. I've swapped my jersey for a thicker coat these days. I regret not packing a gown but weight was an issue for me. I sure could use one now for those chilly mornings. I have since also invested in a proper coat; the multi-layered type that can get me through the snowy winter. Luckily for me it was going on sale so I saved quite a bit. I also bought a Spirithood type thing but instead of an animal, it has a 'Nightmare Before Christmas' theme. I love it. I'm going to be running around freaking out the adjumas (old ladies) in winter. Lol.

I even bought some incredibly woolly thick socks. I also got some amazing sheets and a lovely warm comforter from The Arrival Store (TAS). They really do offer amazing service. If you are coming over, be sure to check the site out at www.thearrivalstore.com. As you can gather, I'm rather terrified of the cold so I'm slowly making my preparations (kind of like a squirrel with nuts except in my case it's clothing). I am terrified of heaters (long story) so I'm going for layering to keep me warm instead. I am however looking forward to winter for two reasons. The first is snowboarding/skiing. Its one of those things on my mental bucket list. The second and far more important reason is that I have applied for leave. If it is granted then I will get to visit my sister in Doha. I miss her and my beautiful nieces so much. I'm so sad that I can't go home for Christmas. This will actually be my first Christmas away from home but at least my sister and her family will be visiting South Africa so the only one who will be having a lonely Christmas is me. I'm sure I can figure out something to do with my friends to lift my spirits. In the mean time however, we have been having lots of fun.

In the previous post I mentioned going to Seoul for the Zombie Walk. It was absolute fun! I had such a good time and made new friends. It was amazing what a good job we did with budget make-up and a bit of fake blood. I even made a grown woman cry. It wasn't my proudest moment but at least it proves that I would make an excellent zombie. Hehehe... it will be quite a while before Hongdae recovers from the day the zombies took over.

The next day was also awesome fun but in a more touristy way as opposed to the previous day's craziness. We went to Gyeongbokgung Palace in Seoul. My word... it took my breathe away. It was so intriguing to learn about South Korean history and to walk through the palace grounds. I saw and experienced so much, from the changing of the guards to the folk museum. It is something I would advise any South Korean tourist to do. It wasn't expensive either and it was such an amazing experience. Be prepared to walk though. The grounds are huge! (PS. There are birds in South Korea. I finally saw some!)

I do not in any way regret my decision to move to South Korea. It is still difficult. I don't get lost as much anymore and am getting used to the weather, culture and language but home-sickness is certainly the most difficult aspect. I miss my family, boyfriend and friends so much. I am really blessed to have such great people in my life but at least Skype makes it so much easier to be away from them. I have never felt more South African than when living out of my home country. I guess I suddenly realised how good we have it back home. The food is cheap (trust me, it is) and delicious, the country is beautiful and clean (well cleaner) and we have such a rich heritage. The only down side is probably the crime and corruption but regardless, it's still home. I can honestly say I am proudly South African and furthermore proudly South African Indian. I made sure that I celebrated Heritage day even though I'm in South Korea. I don't have any Indian clothing here but I have my South African rugby shirt so I wore that and my friends and I went out for Korean BBQ (a substitute for a good old fashioned braai). It felt good to celebrate even though I am so far from home.

I also plan on observing as much of a traditional Diwali next month as I can. I found an awesome website that stocks Indian food and items (http://indianshopkorea.com/prestashop/en/).  I'm going to invite a few friends over and attempt to cook a proper Indian meal, light some candles and celebrate the Festival of Lights. Being in South Korea doesn't mean that I have to give up who I am or lose my sense of self. If anything, this move is helping me discover who I really am and what I want out of life.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." -Neale Donald Walsch

Work has been okay. Some times its frustrating, other times boring and at other (rare) times, I find it completely gratifying. It all depends on which class I've just taught. Some learners are so passionate and motivated and despite their lack of English skills, they are ever eager to learn more. Other classes provide a constant challenge in trying to keep them awake yet alone motivate them. I did however pick up some very handy knowledge at the Autumn 2012 GEPIK orientation. It was 3 days of fun and learning. The summary of which can be seen here: 

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10101316835248461&oid=3094780809

I'm glad I ended up in the GEPIK program. The hogwan teachers sound like they have it much harder. I also finally got my alien registration card (ARC) so I am now all legal. That in turn means I got paid so I'm eating a little better (and shopping a lot more... shoes!) which was completely necessary as I had developed anemia  Food is generally expensive here especially fruit so come prepared with multivitamins. You will need it to compensate for you limited diet. Korean food is very carbohydrate rich which I'm not really used to so its hardly surprising I developed anemia. I don't have access to the iron rich food sources that I had back home. At least the problem was easily solved; 30 000 KRW later and I now have a 2 month supply of iron supplements. My ARC also meant I could finally get a phone. I was told that they do not have sim cards here and that it would be near impossible to find one here. BULLSHIT! I managed to find one at the SK Telecom/T World in my small town and it only cost 9 900 KRW as opposed to the 70 000 KRW I would have had to have spent for a second hand cash phone. At least with the sim card option I got to use my own nice clean new smartphone. Just make sure that your phone is unlocked (can work on any network) and will be compatible the networks (in terms of the frequency the operate on) in South Korea if you plan on bringing your own. Blackberries are not compatible as far as I know. Well I guess that's all there is for now. I have some more touristy things planned with my friends in the future so I will keep you posted on my adventures. Work is officially over so I'm off to my apartment for a nice rainy afternoon curled up in bed with a good book. Later!

17 September 2012... Settling in (about time I say).

Hi again to everyone. I have officially been living in Anjung for 22 days. I’m practically part of the furniture. Ha! I still get the strangest looks walking through the street and plenty of ‘waygooks’. That means foreigner. I’m sure worse has been said but that is one reason to be grateful that I don’t understand the language yet. The last few weeks have been VERY busy.

The meeting at the school went fairly well considering I got as far as the school parking lot before being whisked to my new apartment which was completely bare except for an unconnected gas stove, the kitchen cabinets and a closet. Over the course of the day the rest of the furniture and appliances stipulated in my contract were delivered and the place started to slowly look like home. I have to admit that I am one lucky fish (I really don’t get that saying… is the lucky fish the one that got away?). Back to the point, my apartment is AWESOME! Most people get stuck in tiny, dirty apartments with old stuff from the previous teacher who has since left. I was given a brand new apartment in a shiny new building and my place was kitted out with new everything (LG, Samsung, etc.). It’s honestly a really awesome apartment and now that I’m done with all my shopping for the things not provided, it feels like home to me. It is a small studio apartment. When I walk in, I take off my shoes and place them in the little cupboard at the door which I also use for linen and towels (storage space is a little low). It’s a Korean custom not to wear your outdoor shoes indoors so I have separate slippers to use at work and at my apartment. (Note to those coming over, get ones with a thicker sole for work. You will be grateful when your socks are still dry on the rainy days.) Directly in front of my door is my tiny kitchen but it has all the necessities such as a kettle, toaster (not toaster oven), fridge, microwave, gas stove, sink, small table and 2 chairs. Directly behind that is my tiny bathroom. It has one of those freaky little showers that I was dreading but I’m getting used to everything constantly being wet. In typical Indian fashion, I invested in a plastic stool, bucket and jug. I find that a far more efficient way of bathing than the crazy shower that soaks everything. On a hilarious note my neighbour (an awesome American who teaches at the middle school next to me) and I could not figure out how to get the hot water working in our apartments. As it turns out there is a little panel on the wall that you have to switch on. It would have been useful if I knew that in advance. Naturally all the labels are in Korean like everything else in my apartment. So that first morning involved very cold showers. Thankfully there were some maintenance people about who explained to us (in broken English, hand signals and grunts) how to get the hot water working. Moving on… to the right of my door is one large room (by Korean standards not typical Western standards) that serves as my bedroom, lounge and study. I actually like the open plan style but the downside is the large windows (I had no curtains/blinds for a while) and there was a creepy lady across the street who I once caught watching me sleeping. I KID YOU NOT! I have awesome roll blinds now (worth every cent) so at least I can move about my apartment without being watched like the unfortunate subject of a David Attenborough special. Directly next to my bed is a small enclosed balcony-like room that has my washing machine and a clothing rack for drying my clothes (also great for drying my dishes when I run out of space in my dish rack). As mentioned previously, everything is in Korean so after some help from my American neighbour (who is actually pretty good at figuring out the Korean stuff), the maintenance people (who also fitted a lid on the toilet seat and fixed the leaking cistern) and the land lady, I now have little labels all over my apartment so I don’t forget what everything means. I also have labelled illustrations of the air conditioner remote, washing machine and iron. OCD much??? Yip, you better believe it but it comes in handy when it comes to getting organised. So that’s my apartment.

Work has been quite interesting. It turns out that I now work at a high school, not a middle school as I was initially informed. Oh no! More teenagers! And it’s an all-boys school. Needless to say, this will be a challenging year. I did absolutely nothing constructive the first week of work. It took the school a while to arrange textbooks for me and my teaching schedule. I see each class once a week and also have 4 teacher training sessions a week where I help the other English teachers. Some classes are nice. Some are bordering on evil. Thursdays make me slightly suicidal. But that’s most jobs right? Honestly I can’t complain much. I have 6 hours more free time a week than I had in South Africa (perfect for my lesson planning), absolutely no extra-curricular and I only have about 4 lesson plans a week. I also have a smart board in my classroom which makes teaching really interactive but (isn’t there always a but) it’s connected to a computer that’s 5 years old, in Korean and has the tendency to break down regularly. The super nice IT technician opened it up today to find that it had dust bunnies the size of dinosaurs in there and no sound card but it is functional for what I need it to do except for the lack of sound. Unfortunately, it can’t be changed to English so I use my personal netbook for the most part. For my second week at school I did an introduction lesson with a slideshow all about myself and my life back in South Africa (I strongly suggest that all new teachers have an introduction slideshow prepared for your first lesson). As for the teacher training, that threw me off a bit at first but after some discussion, the teachers and I settled on a textbook and I’m actually really enjoying the teacher training classes now. They have informed me that they want to do a little less grammar and a little more listening and conversation in future. Makes sense but it’s a little harder to plan as the textbook we chose doesn’t cater for that. I’m on to my third week of teaching now. It was a little frustrating because my classroom PC broke down again and I couldn’t use my netbook because it, my cellphone, all other contents of my bag as well as me got soaked walking to school today. It turns out there is ANOTHER (yes, another) typhoon that decided to pay Korea a visit in a matter of 22 days. Helpful hint to anyone considering coming over, carry/buy a very big umbrella, carry a big poncho as well (to cover both you and your backpack/bag) and carry rain boots/wellingtons. I am grateful each and every rainy day that I endured the discomfort of wearing my wellies on the plane to have them here with me. The staff at my school is so incredibly nice. They help me with everything from problems settling in to life in Korea to helping me dry out my soggy computer. They are really good people. I am constantly being given little gifts like vitamin drinks and rice cakes. It blows me away how nice most Korean people are. I mean South Africans are nice but Koreans take it to a whole other level. That is something that I am really lucky to have. I seriously need to get some little gifts for my co-workers just to say thank you for being so awesome to me all the time.

A social life in Anjung took a while to find. Facebook groups help a lot in meeting other foreigners who can relate to your daily frustrations and help you. I’ve met a lot of really great people here. And I’m not the only person as brown as the dirt here anymore. I have another Indian friend here. She’s Canadian Indian. It’s great to have someone to talk to about curry and the funny little things that make being an Indian person fantastic. (She is NOT replacing you dude.) I also met a lot of random people just walking in the streets. I found a great church and through the church, met even more amazing people. I also went to my first foreigner night. That was great. Laughs, food and other English speaking people trading ‘battle tales’. I’m not much of a party person which is probably a good thing. Food in Korea is ridiculously expensive. I have a complete lack of fruit in my diet and am only eating limited vegetables. Meat is also pretty expensive. Thankfully the school offers a great cafeteria lunch that is well balanced, substancial and relatively affordable (about $2.50 a meal) so my biggest meal is lunch. For breakfast, I just have cereal and for dinner I usually cook something. It’s not too bad cooking for one person but there are a few affordable take out options when I feel lazy. I try to limit take out to 2 times a week (foreigner night and weekends). Try not to convert into your home currency when shopping for food or you will barely put anything into your trolley. You will have to just suck it in and pay for food or risk malnourishment. I have been having plenty of those vitamin drinks to try and compensate for my lack of fresh fruit. I bought bananas once but due to the 100% humidity, they rotted in just 3 days. In future I will buy fruit that can be refrigerated. I also divide everything biodegradable into parcels for one and freeze it. It makes stuff like meat, garlic, onions, peppers, etc. last much longer and it gets mushy when you cook it anyway. Mushrooms and cabbage are cheap here and plentiful. I do my mini shopping trips once a week for things like eggs, bread, milk and vegetables. I’ve heard that there is also a local market but I haven’t had a chance to go yet. I’m looking forward to some fruit. I was so spoiled when it came to fruit back in South Africa. (*Downs another vitamin drink*)

Korea hasn’t been all great times though. There have been some challenges that had me wondering why I put myself through this. While shopping at the Home Plus I made a big purchase (things for my apartment and a month’s worth of groceries) and they double deducted me. I informed my bank and the bank then decided to promptly freeze both my cards so I was stuck in Korea with NO money. Yeah, that’s enough to scare the **** out of anyone. After a good cry on Skype with my dad, plenty of email exchanges between my parents, me and the bank, some help from my Korean co-teacher and a trip back to the Home Plus, I was eventually refunded the money a week later and my cards were unfrozen. More advice: have a stash of cash somewhere safe and keep a ledger of EVERY cent you spend. It’s important to budget well to get you through that first month until you get paid but that ledger also helps you pick up when things go wrong. If I hadn’t kept my ledger, I never would have noticed that so much money was missing from my account. I even have a backup ledger on my netbook now because that whole experienced scared me so much.

I’m slowly getting used to the town. I’ve been walking around and as I discover new things I mark them on my map. I have gotten lost once and had to resort to getting a taxi but it’s all part of the learning curve. I’ve also made a few trips into Pyeongtaek-si for my health check (pretty typical stuff; eye test, height, body mass, blood pressure, urine test, blood sample and x-ray) and some shopping. Unfortunately I lost my T-money card so that put my travel plans on hold for a while. I am however planning a trip into Seoul in the near future for a Zombie walk. I love cosplay events even though I haven’t had to chance to attend many apart from 1 Halloween party a few years back. I’m really looking forward to that. All the walking has its benefits, I’m shrinking at a steady rate so I actually fit into Korean clothing now. I managed to get a 2 pairs of shoes (heels for going out and heeled boots for the cold) and some clothes (skirts, cardigans, dresses, blouses, etc.). At least my wardrobe is somewhat respectable now. There is a distinct lack of colour beyond black, white and grey but it does make it easier to mix and match. I still need to get some more substantial clothing for the winter. I seriously underestimated the cold here. If you have one, bring a snow appropriate coat. I plan on buying one when winter hits. For now layering the few items I do have helps. I also plan on getting a nice comforter from thearrivalstore.com. They are a lot cheaper than anything I found at the Home Plus bedding department. If you have the space, bring your own sheets, pillowcases, etc. They are so hard to find here and unbelievably expensive. I’m grateful for my sheets, blanket, towels, and pillowcases as well as for the blogs I read that advised me to bring those things. Hopefully you’ll take my advice on that.

Well each day here is an adventure. Today’s adventure is attempting to walk home in a typhoon without soaking all my electronics... again. To those reading this, I hope you have enjoyed my rants. Feel free to comment, ask questions or even share your own experiences if you are also an ESL teacher living far from home. Until then, may the force be with you.

30 August 2012... Oppa Anjung style!

Hi everyone. So here I am blogging again after months… well actually after over a year. I now have reason to blog again but let me not jump the gun. I’ll start where I left off.

As of May 2012, Lestat (my bearded dragon) was on the road to recovery, we had a new lovable little parrot named Lucas and everything seemed to be falling in place nicely... or so I thought. Looking back, that time from March 2011 up until May 2012 were probably some of the worst months of my life but they were trials that eventually led me to where I am today and also brought with them treasures.

I’ve already detailed everything that happened up until Reiki’s (my previous parrot) tragic passing away. I honestly had a very hard time adapting to the new parrot and dealing with Reiki’s death but I slowly started opening up to him and him to me. I can honestly say I love the little guy now. He still bites and you can’t touch him but he is generous with his kisses and he loves to copy everything I say. I love listening to him rant in the mornings and sharing my food with him. He loves curry, pasta and furniture. Lol.

In the second half of 2011 I met in a car accident. Thankfully it was nothing major but it did scare me a lot. The rest of 2011 was fairly uneventful. That guy I mentioned previously, well, he turned out to be just a good friend and I prefer it that way. I tried to have an active social life but for everyone who knows me well, you know I’m more of a book worm. I also tend to have insomnia so to beat the boredom on those long nights, I read or I chat. One particular night, someone new entered my usual chat room. His screen name caught my attention but I didn’t bother to initiate contact as I prefer to talk to the regulars who I have yet to block (as you know most chat rooms are filled with perverts so my blocked list is actually far longer than my friend list). After a while he sent me a message. I guess I somehow stood out for him. I don’t know exactly what it was that made him take notice of me; maybe the fact that I like to type in proper English, refrain from vulgarity (as far as possible) or just that I don’t abuse people in chat rooms. Whatever it was, I’m glad he took notice because from our very first conversation, I was completely hooked. From there we talked for a while online. I treasured those chats and looked for his screen name first whenever I logged in. Eventually we trusted each other enough to exchange phone numbers and our real names. There are several things that I find attractive in a man, tattoos (which the previous guy I mentioned had in abundance), piercings (because I find them cool), a sexy voice (it makes me weak in the knees) and intellect (by far the sexiest thing about a man). After that first phone call, which lasted from sunset to sunrise literally, I was more than just hooked, I was completely infatuated. He has the most amazing voice but his mind… wow! His mind drives me crazy. I love how he challenges me and teaches me new things. I love how he appreciates that I too am a thinker rather than putting me down and making me feel inferior just so he can feel better about himself. He makes me feel like his equal. Talking to him invigorates me. We had several of those all-night conversations that week and I was so sure that I was crazy about this man who I had never met, that after just a week of chatting on the phone I bought him a birthday present even though his birthday was 5 months away. I was that sure that he would be a part of my life. Sadly, things don’t go according to plan and I barely heard from him again. So I packed away his gift and kept in my heart the faint hope that I would have the chance to give it to him someday. I also made up my mind that I would wait for him until his birthday. If by then nothing came of our friendship, I would move on.

Towards the end of February, I started to get really sick. It was almost exactly what happened in 2010. I found myself in the same hospital for a long time, growing more and more despondent as doctor after doctor tried to figure out what was wrong that could possibly push my white blood cell count so high. So I went through all the tests again. All were negative. There was nothing wrong with me apart from the known conditions. So they kept me until my white blood cell count returned to normal and let me go home. I honestly think that perhaps it was stress. I was exhibiting some really strange symptoms such as severe swelling of my hands, then red spots under my skin, my hands and feet became so tender that I could barely hold a pen without it being complete agony, then the skin on my hands and feet starting falling off in chunks leaving them red and raw but the final straw was when I could not stop vomiting. That’s when my parents took me to the hospital. I still have no idea what caused all of that but I’m glad it’s gone. Maybe it was stress. Working with teenagers in a public school is a VERY frustrating job (albeit a very gratifying job at times).

I wish that I hadn’t ended up in hospital but not because it was an unpleasant experience but because it robbed me of time. Just a week later, my precious baby Lestat passed away. After her initial illness, I made sure I took Lestat to the vet regularly. Despite my best efforts, she refused to eat, not even her favourite foods and slowly she started to waste away until she was just skin on bone. First they said muscular atrophy… ‘use water therapy to strengthen her up’. Then they said muscular dystrophy and that it’s hard to tell for sure because of the inbreeding with domesticated reptiles. They put her on a high fat, high protein liquid diet and said she had months to live. How does a mother face the realization that her baby is going to die? A mother doesn’t, a mother fights. That’s what I did. Throughout 2011 and 2012, my mum and I hand fed Lestat, massaged her, played with her, bathed her, kissed her and showered her with love but a week after I was discharged from the hospital, her body started twitching badly and she couldn’t even keep down the liquid food. The vet was closed and the animal hospital said they couldn’t help. After phoning around frantically, the curator of the Dangerous Creatures exhibit at UShaka gave me the number of a very good herpetologist. I phoned him and despite it being a weekend, he understood the love I had for my baby and told me to rush her over. He was so gentle with her. I swear that man is an angel on God’s green Earth. He examined her so thoroughly and explained everything to me and then very gently broke the news to me that my baby was in the final stages of cancer and had two tumours almost completely blocking her colon which is why she stopped eating and lost so much weight and eventually why she could no longer manage to keep anything down. This is so difficult to type, to relive that pain… I’m in tears as I write this. Lestat meant everything to me, my child in every sense except birth. But the herpetologist understood that I refused to give up on my baby. Emergency surgery was scheduled for the next day. Lestat slept on my chest that night. I stayed up taking care of her. That morning got ready for work and kissed my baby goodbye as I always did but that was the last time. She closed her eyes and went to God moments after I left. I returned home where my parents broke the news to me. I was devastated. I still am. People don’t understand how I could be so hurt over a pet but very few understand that she was so much more to me. She was my strength through all of the pain that I had endured over the previous year even though she was silently suffering herself. It really isn’t fair that my beautiful angel was taken away so soon. I questioned God,  I questioned life and its meaning. I questioned everything. In the end I realised that my baby chose to go on her own terms, peacefully in her sleep after kissing her mummy goodbye, instead of being cut up. Thank God for my parents, my beautiful sister and my amazing friend Nerita. Whilst my other friends and family were there to support me, they especially knew how much she meant to me, they cried with me and were there when I lay her tiny body into her grave and prayed for her little soul. They gave me strength of spirit when losing her had taken away every bit of fight I had left in me. Losing Lestat was so hard but I know that I have my little angel watching me from Heaven. As I told my niece, God made her an angel and since she has wings, she’s a real dragon now.

That however wasn’t the end of my sorrow. Just a few shorts weeks after losing my baby, my sister (my ‘twin’/strength/partner in crime) along with my two beautiful nieces left to Qatar to start their new life there with my brother in law. I admire my sister so much for having the strength to leave behind everything she knows, including her family, to support the dreams of the man she loves. I just hope he knows what an amazing wife he has in her and cherishes her the way she deserves to be cherished. She is so strong and brave and beautiful and so many more things that I could go on forever. Life felt so empty without my baby, sister or nieces. I felt so alone and unhappy.

My mum, who knows me better than I give her credit for, saw how I was hurting and advised me to take some time off from life to concentrate on myself and to find my own happiness. I toyed with idea but how could I just leave everything behind? I mean I had responsibilities, debt, a job, students who I love and who needed me, my parents and grandparents who I love so much. I decided I would just carry on with life… besides I still had the faint hope in my heart that the chat room guy would realise that I’m the Disney princess he’s been waiting for all his life. As if. In one of the rare messages that we exchanged he informed me that he was moving to Cape Town so I told him that I was toying with the idea of moving to South Korea. He encouraged me to go for it. If he was encouraging me to move across the world and he himself was moving across the country, he definitely was not interested. So I did what any normal obsessive compulsive person would do, I researched everything. It turns out that if I sold my car, I could pay off my debt and have enough money to move to South Korea and once there, my salary would be enough to meet my responsibilities in South Africa and still save up. This was my chance to recreate myself, to start anew and to be happy. So I put in my application and 2 weeks later, I had a job, Thereafter the long process of paperwork began. But the agency I went through (teacheslkorea.com) was amazing and because I’m fairly organised, this process, although expensive, was fairly painless.

However, life is never that easy and just loves to throw me a curveball. I met in another car accident, a slightly worse one than before and there went the asset that would allow me to have this adventure. The insurance company wanted to write it off and offered me a pittance of its actual worth as compensation. But they didn’t know that my step dad is secretly a superhero, SUPERDAD. He challenged the insurance company and it turns out that they had insured the wrong model. They had insured it as the lowest model in the range and mine was the top model in the range. The damage to my car was actually very minor and they only wanted to write it off because they thought that it would be uneconomical to repair based on that low value. My dad sat on their case for 2 months until the matter was resolved and my car repaired. It was a lengthy process but my car was returned to me in better condition than she ever was before and she drove like a Jaguar. Sadly I only had Xena (my car) for about 2 weeks before I had to sell her. She will be missed. My conscience is clear in selling her because I went through great expense making sure that there was not a single fault with her. If I was staying in South Africa, I would have kept her forever.

Anyway, back to my story, remember chat room guy… let us call him Mr Perfect. Well, we both knew that we were headed in very different directions but we agreed to meet the Saturday before he left for 1 date (before his birthday so he made it within the allotted time period). I remember walking in to the restaurant, seeing him and my heart just stopping. He could have looked like a troll and I wouldn’t have cared because I was so infatuated with him but there sat this handsome stranger. The date was amazing; we talked and talked and talked. He surprised me with a box of my favourite chocolates. The gesture touched me. I had forgotten what it felt like to be treated so well. He also liked his gift, a Hasbro Mech Tech Bumblebee. Like my dad, he also has a thing for the Transformers… come to think of it; I don’t think I know any men who don’t like the Transformers. They are pretty awesome. Not Star Wars awesome but a close second. Lol. I savoured those chocolates. I had only 1 a week, every Saturday to commemorate that date with my Mr Perfect but I also allowed myself to have one on special occasions like my birthday. That box lasted 3 months. On the off chance that he might agree, I invited him to my birthday celebration which was a few weeks after that date. I was completely thrilled when he actually did make it. I warned all my friends not to let on how much I liked him and talked about him. I had to play it cool after all. That night was magical. I had my brother, some of my closest friends and the man I was crazy about with me. And then we kissed. From that moment, distance didn’t matter. I was totally and completely in love. He has been amazing. He came to Durban as often as possible and we spent as much time together as we could manage. He met most of my friends and those who got to know him well also agree that he is something special. We’ve been together 3 months now. He taught me how to love again and he made me believe in myself again. Unfortunately it was too late to cancel my trip to Korea (I’ve already mentioned life’s fondness of throwing me curveballs) but he is the kind of man who encourages me to be all that I can be and has supported me in this decision. I don’t regret coming to Korea. It’s something that I need to do to be happy with who I am and decide what I want out of life. I do hold on to the fact that each day brings me closer to seeing my beloved family and my Mr Perfect again. It gives me the strength to make this work. This experience should not be in vain. Everyone back home believes in me, my Dadu, my Dadi ma, my parents (all 4 of them), my sister and brothers, my friends (or my crazies as I call them… I miss you dudes) and my Mr Perfect. I’m not going to let them all down. When I return home, I will return whole, not fragmented as I was there. I will heal and I will grow. Of that I am certain.

The days preceding my departure were sheer chaos but I made sure that I spent the very last days just relaxing with my parents, grandparents, my siblings (including my new ones, Verushka and Prakash) and my crazies. My grand Aunty had a lovely farewell dinner for me. I even brought a piece of cake that she baked with me to Korea. It was my first supper here. My gran (Dadi ma) prepared a beautiful meal for me the day before I left, chicken breyani. I’m really going to miss her cooking. I already am actually. I swear she’s responsible for the 3kg’s I’ve gained this year but I’m not complaining. The women in my family show how much they love you by how much they feed you. My granny must REALLY love me then. Lol. And I love them all so much too.

The flight here was long with 2 stopovers along the way but I made it in one piece. That’s when the chaos started again. A representative from the agency was supposed to have met me upon landing at the airport to take me to my new home however, he never pitched up. So there I was, laden with luggage and stuck in a foreign country where barely anyone speaks a word of English, with very limited knowledge of Korean of my own and no transport. So I promptly burst into tears and Skype called mummy and daddy. (You are never too old to need your parents). They calmed me down, told me to get something to eat and then once I was thinking clearly, I managed to get some help from the information desk, get a bus ticket to my new town and arrange for the hotel to pick me up. I arrived at the hotel 8 hours after landing but at least I had done it. I survived my first day in South Korea. To their credit, the agency emailed to apologise for the incident at the airport before I even had the chance to complain so its all good. I would recommend them to anyone.

On day 2 I woke up late (I’m still running on South African time it seems), showered, got dressed and went down to the hotel restaurant only to be informed that it is closed. By this time I was starving and there was a typhoon looming. So I had to brave the ridiculous wind and go to the local supermarket to get food supplies. Now THAT was an adventure. All the labels are in Korean (note to self: start learning the alphabet immediately)! So I shopped based on the pictures on the packaging and hoped for the best. It went pretty well. So at least I had some food.

On day 3 the weather cleared up beautifully. It was my chance to actually go out and explore the town but I was informed that the principal of my school would be phoning me so I sat next to the phone all day waiting for the call. It eventually came mid-afternoon and so I now know when I will be meeting the principal and when I will be given my new apartment. After that I got ready and went out. It was too late to explore but I did stop by the supermarket for more food supplies as the weather was predicted as being disastrous for the rest of the week. That night I also got a visit from a new friend, Kivithra, who is a little piece of home right here in Korea… and she brought me real food. God bless her! I look forward to all the good times we’ll have together in the future.

Which brings me to day 4 (today). The weather is absolutely horrible. Pouring rain and howling wind but it should die down my midday tomorrow (hopefully) which is perfect because that is when I check out. I’m glad I stocked up on food because there is no way I would step out in this weather. So I have spent my day reading emails, learning Korean, Skype calling family and Mr Perfect, checking my Facebook, watching Korean television (the advertisements are driving me mad) and writing this blog.

So after all of this, and I have to admit that this is a really long blog, this is what I have learnt about Korea and from Korea so far (for anyone considering coming over):

1. The guys here (in general, not all of them) are VERY pretty… I had a little trouble differentiating between the genders at first.
2. Clothing is bright and shiny… or completely ugly (in my experience so far). I can’t seem to find anything in between as yet. I’m hoping Seoul or Pyeongtaek-si will offer better options.
3. I’m huge here. But I have seen people bigger than me so theoretically I should be able to buy clothing here. I’m hoping the limited diet and all the walking I’ll do will help me lose some weight and make shopping less of a hassle.
4. Hand gestures, facial expressions, grunts and lots of smiling will get you pretty far in terms of communication. Most of the people here are SO friendly but not all. Some here are quite openly racist or just dislike foreigners. Take it with a pinch of salt and be grateful for the nice ones. (HINT: Learn the alphabet and basic phrases before you come over, you will need it).
5. They drive very aggressively here.
6. Everything is laden with sugar. I couldn’t find anything except crackers that were fat or sugar free (but then again, I can’t read the labels very well yet).
7. Write everything you learn down in a little book and take it everywhere with you. It will help you so much until you figure everything out.
8. Coffee here is nasty and expensive. Bring your own.
9. The beds are hard. Fork out for a mattress pad from the arrival store. Worth every cent!
10. Don’t bother bringing your phone. It will not work here unless you use it with wifi. They don’t use sim cards here. But wifi  is available at quite a few places.
11. The towels are ridiculously tiny. Bring your own.
12. The water here is not too bad. Boil it first and its fine to drink but the bottled water is fairly cheap.
13. Spray deodorant is nearly impossible to find here. Bring a lot. Roll on can be found but is so expensive. So is peanut butter. So bring or own or be prepared to pay for it or live without it. You have to leave behind western perceptions. This is Korea. Embrace it. I plan on doing just that… when its stops raining.

Well that’s all for now folks. I’d like to wish Verushka all the best on her travels to Doha. Prakash, you will be okay. You guys will be reunited before you know it and Yanthra will have such amazing opportunities there. You guys are doing this for her future. Congrats to my amazing sister on the new car, you deserve it doll. My crazies, I miss you. Ferrari, please take care of yourself. Jothi, I’m so proud of you for making the move to Cape Town. Sayida, stop putting potato on pizza (lol, I couldn’t resist). Bex, you are so right about SA. Neri and Kersh, mwahs! Charlene, be strong and have faith that the Lord has something better planned for your future. David; good luck on your matric exams my baby. Mum, dad, Davedad, Aunty Neela, Dadu, Dadi and the grannies, I miss you and love you. To all those that I didn’t mention, I haven’t forgotten you. I love you all so so much. And lastly, to my Mr Perfect, I love you baby.

An-nyeong-hi gye-se-yo to you all!